In this country we spend an inordinate amount of time on the subject of romantic love almost to the extreme. Yet, there are so many other shades of love; From the love expressed through a smile, a job well done, or even searching for the perfect golf club to perfect that swing. These are all shades of the flow of love and there are so many more.
Including the love that shows up through caretaking another being with compassion, as I watch my Mother walk through the latter stages of Alzheimer’s I see so much love around her. The love on the faces of the hospice personnel as they come to bath her, or check on her; their gentleness and kindness as they care for her. My sister whom lovingly takes the time to try and make Mom laugh, whom looks for a new Doctor because the other was callous, makes sure Mom is surrounded by pictures of her family pointing out to her who they are over and over again, and whom leaves Mom things to pick up around the house to help fill her days with joy, as Mom always loved to clean. The standing joke in our household growing up was that you couldn’t set your glass down before Mom had picked it up and taken it to wash.
To another sister whom lovingly took Mom to JC Penny and walked the store with her as Mom so loved to shop, until the trips just became too much and Mom’s world shrank yet again and now finds other ways to bring Mom joy; ensuring she has plenty of cards in the mail to open; sending the reminders to the rest of us to mail Mom cards. And as I visit I see how much those cards mean as Mom has two love containers I call them that she carries with her now. One of them use to hold her Bible, and now it holds these beautiful cards of love. And as I visit I read these cards to her, over and over…Mom’s points of love.
The other container is a wood decorative box with a handle which holds jewelry, the real stones are gone either lost or put up for safekeeping; so many of these are from Mom’s journey to JC Penny’s. Mom always had her jewels on and showed her love to her daughters by often sharing a piece of her jewelry with us. And, as we took a drive one evening not long ago with the top down, feeling the breeze and listening to 40’s music on satellite radio, Mom slipped off her bracelet, with a look that says here you are.
And of course there is Zoe Mom’s long hair Chihuahua. I remember Mom’s joy so many years ago calling to say she had a new friend, Zoe. How happy getting Zoe made her and still makes her every single day. Zoe’s role in life has become to be the center of Mom’s world. She gives Mom’s day purpose. They are always together; we laugh that Mom may not remember us in quite the same way but she remembers Zoe. Zoe is the first thing Mom looks for when she comes through the door and the last thing she asks for at night. She lovingly accepts her role and loves Mom right back. I am grateful for Zoe, as I know love is the first and last face Mom sees every day.
And love is with us every day too, in the clerk that makes us laugh, in the child’s face full of wonder, in the caretaker whom takes that extra step of kindness and compassion. I know there are allot of distractions and life can be challenging at times, but remember that smile on your face just might be the love someone needs to get through their day. So be the love, and today look just beyond the surface, and there you’ll find it, Love.
(c) Copyright Loreine Smith 2011
